Held

First of all I want to thank everyone who has been praying for us over the past couple of days. We have felt every single prayer that has been made! It has been incredible to see how the Holy Spirit has worked within us.

There has been a song that has resounded in my mind this week, which will explain the title of this post. It is a song by Natalie Grant called Held. There are portions of that song that are exactly my heart. Here is the portion of the song that has stuck out to me...
"This is what it means to be held....this is what it means to be loved and to know that the promise was when everything failed, we'd be HELD".

That is exactly what it has felt like for us! On Sunday I kept expressing to Pete this overwhelming sense of "being upheld". Even though we were at war against emotions that were raging inside of us, we felt the hand of God upholding us every minute of every day.

We spent a majority of past few weeks just being with each other. We found that brought us the most comfort. We spent a lot of time talking and reflecting. You know when you marry your spouse, you express a love for them that is real and deep and you question "How can I feel this love any deeper"? This is one of those undesirable times that has deepened that love that we thought was unmeasurable at the time. As we celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary, I reflected on the man that God has so graciously blessed me with and I can't imagine my life with anyone else. God knew what he was doing and knew exactly what I needed in life when he joined our hearts together!

As we look forward we still have a lot to think about. We are trying to be open to all measures. We want to be obedient to God's will for us. We want to be receptive what it is that He would call us to do. We are tired of waiting and don't anticipate waiting months to make that decision, either. We meet with our Dr. on Tuesday and hope to have some things made clear.

Please continue to pray for us in this time! We are overwhelmed with the decision that we will have to make in the weeks to come. Please pray that we would recieve wisdom. Pray that our hearts would be open to God's leading and then that we will be obedient.

Thank you SO MUCH for the kind words, cards, emails, messages, etc...that you all have sent. Our hearts have been encouraged!!
The journey continues.....down drury lane....to be continued...

Romans 12:12
Be JOYful in hope,
PATIENT in affliction,
FAITHful in prayer

With broken hearts

We went in today to have our pregnancy test completed. Results came back negative. Our hearts are torn. Please pray for us during this time. We will type more at a later time when our hearts and minds have a chance to heal.

Pete and Darcy

Trusting His Plan

We continue to trust that God is in control. Darcy was able to stay home all day on Tuesday (day of implant), Wednesday and Thursday morning. I was so proud of her for taking extra time for herself before going back to school. Each day, she continues to improve in how she feels.

We received word from the clinic on Thursday that out of the six eggs that were left, none of them continued their growth so we will not be able to freeze them. This was a bit shocking and disappointing when we heard it. We are grateful that God provided two strong embryos through this process and trust that God is in control with every step of this journey. God continues to refine us through this current "fire".

Continue to pray that our babies grow and fully attach themselves to Darcy. Pray that the medicines continue to help nurture our babies. Also, pray for the Marshalltown community. We received word yesterday that the school district that Darcy and I work for will be shut down all next week due to the flu outbreak that you continue to hear about on the news. We pray that these actions will help curb the spread of this. Also pray that Darcy's body is protected from this illness and that she is able to remain healthy and strong.

Our next appointment is on Sunday May 10th. We will head to the clinic to have pregnancy tests done. We should know more at this time.

Thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. We can sense your prayers each day and are so blessed to have loving family and friends to surround us during our journey.

God Bless,
Pete

Fearfully and wonderfully made

We are back home and everything went well with our appointment today. Dr. Cooper was able to successfully implant two embryos. The entire process took about 20 minutes. Darcy did great and is now at home resting. She will need to stay lying down the rest of today and all day tomorrow.

Here is the photo of our babies that were implanted today.



Please pray that our babies continue to grow and are able to attach themselves to Darcy. Pray that Darcy remains healthy and is able to rest, stress free, these next two days. God is in control and we trust that He will be present as we continue our journey.

Thank you so much for your prayers. We have felt them surrounding us through each step along the way! We are so blessed to have such loving family and friends!

In His grip,

Pete and Darcy

Today is the day!

Today is a major day. We will be heading down to the clinic in Des Moines for a 1pm appointment. At this appointment, they will place two developed embryos inside Darcy. She will then spend the next two days on her back to allow things to settle in. Pray that the procedure goes well and that our babies are able to attach and begin to grow strong. We feel so blessed to be at this point and are excited to see what God is going to do. Pray that Darcy stays healthy and that she is able to fully relax these next two days so that her body can do it's job.

As I spent time in God's Word this morning, I have been flooded with thoughts and emotions. If you know me at all, you know I am a person that comes up with as many scenarios as I can and then I begin to break down the "what ifs" of each one. God knew what I needed to hear this morning. I was reading in I Peter. Here is what God had to say:

I Peter 5:6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all you anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Bottom line.....God is in full control of where we are. He knew this day before we were even created. His mighty hand is at work and all we need to do is place our worries and anxiety at his feet. What a blessing! Not our will but His be done today!

We thank you for all your prayers as we continue down our road. Ultimately, we pray that God will receive all the glory through this process.

I will post an update when we return home from the procedure.

In His arms,
Pete

Overwhemled with PEACE

Psalm 139:13-14
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are
wonderful, I know that full well."


This verse has been resounding in my heart for quite some time. We believe that God is the Creator and Sustainer of LIFE! Even though this process is just that...a process, our hearts can do nothing but exalt the One who is in charge! We believe that apart from Him, we are nothing and it is only by his grace that our lives have been created.

Tuesday at 1:00pm; we will have two embryos transfered into my womb. Just as the above verse states and is our constant prayer that God, Himself "would knit them together in my womb". I become very excited about the thought of that occuring but extremely scared at the same time. Through it all, God has proved himself faithful to provide for our every need, every step of the way. I can't even begin to describe the overwhelming sense of peace that we have in our hearts. God has been so good to us and we are anxious to see what he will reveal to us in the near future.

Please pray for us tomorrow around 1:00 (my appointment time). We know that if there are more than two viable embryos, we will freeze the rest of them and be able to come back to them at a later time. Again, pray that God would give us wisdom and knowledge in being responsible for those other little lives, if there are any.

Please pray that we would receive clarity. That is ultimately our prayer--clarity! May God show us if we are able to raise biological children or should pursue adoption. We pray that through all of this we would be given clarity as to what God has planned for our lives!

Thank you all for your kind words, phone messages, emails and text messages!! I feel so blessed to have such loving friends and family that surrounds us!!
Love to all!
Darcy

Great is Thy Faithfullness!

I sit here this morning with a song that continues to run through my head.

Great is Thy faithfullness! Great is Thy faithfullness!
Morning by morning new mercies I see.
All I have needed Thy hand hath provided.
Great is Thy faithfullness, Lord unto me!

My heart is rejoicing as I think about what is taking place right now. Yesterday, Darcy and I had our retrieval appointment. This is the culmination of all the shots that we have been administering the last two weeks. Darcy did a great job! They were able to collect 21 eggs! Praise God. After the retrieval, they took the eggs to the labratory to fertilize them and begin to watch which ones grow. As I type this, our babies are developing! We should receive a phone call today to let us know how many have successfully fertilized.

The procedure itself was a pretty quick one. Darcy was only back in the room for about twenty-five minutes. I was able to sit with her in the recovery room and wait for the medicine to wear off. This provided for some pretty interesting discussions. There was a reason that the doctor referred to the medicine as Darcy's margaritas while he was talking with us before the procedure.

As we got in the car to come home, all kinds of thoughts and emotions began to flood my mind. I turned the car onto the interstate and Stephen Curtis Chapman's song "Be Still" came on the radio. What an awesome promise that God is fully in control and that we are resting in His arms. What a powerful song at such a perfect time!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xgcugcQ9bCs

Darcy is a little sore this morning but is doing quite well. One more day of school this week and she will have the weekend to relax and ready herself for Tuesday. We begin our next series of shots tonight. By the time this is all done, I am pretty sure that my hesitation towards needles will be completely gone.

Continue to pray for us in these next few, vital days. Pray that our babies continue to grow strong. Pray that Darcy's body heals itself from yesterdays procedure and readies itself to successfully receive our babies on Tuesday. Pray that our stress levels remain low and our trust in God remains high. May His name be praised!

With Love,
Pete