A Glimmer of Hope

Obviously, we are still in the waiting stage, not really knowing what to think each and every day that we wake up. I have been trying hard not to think about things. Just trying to live my life as normal as possible. I've been working hard to push out negativity that could, if I let it, flood my mind. We won't know for a couple of weeks yet if this round was successful or not, so in the mean time ...we wait. The story of our lives!! :) I'm getting pretty used to that mode and I'm okay with it right now.

We did receive a little glimmer of hope that this round is "different" than the last one. That has been my battle all along, is the thought "well, it didn't work the first time, why will it work the 2nd time". This was a battle in my mind for a while but along the way, it has been revealed to us that things are different this time. Now, does that mean i'm setting myself up...no...it just means that it gives me a little bit of hope that it might turn out different this time. As we started this round, our wonderful doctor used his expertise and offered us a different regimine. That included some different medicines at different times. As I've progressed with things, I felt pretty much the SAME. That began to play a toll on me because I thought "this is supposed to be different"....I guess I thought I was supposed to feel different too. All of my appointments were very positive with great strides and progress in the right direction. My confidence was strengthened. The day of retrieval did feel different...I wasn't as "bogged" and the day of transfer was COMPLETELY different! It was not near as painful as the time before.

It is standard procedure at our clinic that there are only 2 embryos implanted at the time of implant. That is what happened for us. Now, as I have explained before, there were a lot more eggs fertilized but not all of those eggs have grown and developed into embryos. At the time of implant, we were told that there were a total of 5 embroys maturing at this time...that is 2 that were implanted and 3 that they were going to continue to watch to see if they developed further. We were to call down in two days to see if any of those embryos were still progressing or if they degenerated. The last time, there were 6 that they were going to watch and all of them degenerated and stopped maturing over the next few days. This time, we called and found out that there are 3 perfect embryos that they will freeze for us for future use!! WOW, what a complete blessing that is! Now, we do not take that lightly and know that those are precious lives and will prayerfully consider when the right time will be to have those implanted some day.

So for the time being, we have caught a glimmer of hope that this time MIGHT be DIFFERNT!!! Please Lord Jesus, it is only by your GRACE and MERCY that these lives within me will be sustained!

We humbly ask that you keep praying!