Business As Usual

I think one of the most difficult things that has occurred in the past two weeks is just that

BUSINESS AS USUAL   

has HAD to occur. 

Oh, believe me I have taken (still taking) time to process everything. 

BUT...I'm still very NUMB. 

I'm in a state of questioning...everything. 

It has been really hard on us, to say the least. Having WHY questions and not really knowing the answer to any of them...is PAINFUL.  This whole process is painful. From shots, to appointments, to medicines, to hormonal imbalances, to sicknesses, to insurance coverage issues, to pharmacy calls, to more appointments, to procedures......to just plain heartache. 

In the past two weeks, we have had to push most of this aside and focus our attention on all sorts of other things. I started a new job that will be just part time and temporary. I will be a teacher librarian in the school district that we live in. Pete started school as well and middle school football has started.

We were driving somewhere yesterday and I found myself getting emotional. I told Pete that we really haven't had much time together to really "deal with" all that has happened in the last two weeks. I felt all of those (still) raw emotions come to the surface.  I expressed to him that I'm still really sad about it all.  When you pour yourself into doing something wholeheartedly and you try really hard to stay hopeful and positive every step of the way ONLY to end up broken to pieces......it  takes a LONG time for that to ever heal.

Honestly, I have no idea where we go from here.
When you are still hurting....it's hard to think of "what's next".

So for now, if you think of us we'd humbly ask that you pray for our hearts to heal. We also ask that God would work in a mighty way.