Update

Wow! Where has the past 3 weeks gone?! They have just flown by.

Here is just a bit of what we have been doing over the past few weeks.

Of course we celebrated Thanksgiving! We hosted at our house...no I did not cook the turkey...we just turned over our house for invasion!! :)We enjoyed every minute of it! It warms are hearts greatly to have family fill our home!


Then we cleared the tables and got ready for a little girl birthday party! My niece, Mallory, turned 2!






Of course Thanksgiving break wouldn't be complete without a quick Black Friday shopping trip!

No those are NOT ALL MY purchases!!

Then, a week ago, we decided to buy a different vehicle!! Pete has been doing some searching for about a year now. He found this truck and got a great deal on it!


That is just a quick glimpse of what we have been doing over the past 3 weeks.

Our journey update...
Currently we are waiting. Yes waiting.
We met with our Dr a few weeks ago and discussed our next step. We have 3 frozen embryos that we are responsible for. We will handle each of those little lives with great care and consideration. God chose to continue growing them for a purpose, a purpose we can not see but TRUST He will reveal to us in the near future. We will have our next implant of 2 of the embryos near the end of January. There is just a few medications I will have to take this time and it will be a piece of cake compared to the whole process.
We have prayed for peace throughout this whole process and I can't even begin to describe to you the peace that we have felt! We know that God is working out His great PERFECT will. Even though it has been painful on our hearts, we know that He ultimately knows what is best for us! We had also said all along that we would try IVF two times and if it was unsuccessful both times, we would pursue adoption. We prepared ourselves for that step. Never did we dream that this is where we would be right now. God chose to move in a way to have these embryos to continue growing for a purpose. We do not understand and have a selfish urge to back away from all of this forever, because we are afraid of heartache. We know that God is bigger than our fears and He asks us to overcome our fears.
The peace that rules in our hearts is indescribable.
This is where we are supposed to be.
This is what we are supposed to be doing.
Thank you God for loving us and caring so deeply for us in this time. Even though it has been painful, we have felt your hand holding us!!! To God be the Glory.

Thank you so much for your prayers, kind words, phone calls, text messages, emails..etc! We have been so encouraged by the overwhelming love from friends and family. We are BLESSED!

Broken but not crushed

Today, we traveled to the clinic to have blood drawn for our pregnancy test. We received a phone call about an hour later stating the test came back negative.

Again, we find ourselves broken and wondering what went wrong. We know that God is in control and that He is holding us at this time. Pray that our hearts heal and that we can be filled with the Peace that can only come from Him.

With broken hearts.......

Pete and Darcy

A Glimmer of Hope

Obviously, we are still in the waiting stage, not really knowing what to think each and every day that we wake up. I have been trying hard not to think about things. Just trying to live my life as normal as possible. I've been working hard to push out negativity that could, if I let it, flood my mind. We won't know for a couple of weeks yet if this round was successful or not, so in the mean time ...we wait. The story of our lives!! :) I'm getting pretty used to that mode and I'm okay with it right now.

We did receive a little glimmer of hope that this round is "different" than the last one. That has been my battle all along, is the thought "well, it didn't work the first time, why will it work the 2nd time". This was a battle in my mind for a while but along the way, it has been revealed to us that things are different this time. Now, does that mean i'm setting myself up...no...it just means that it gives me a little bit of hope that it might turn out different this time. As we started this round, our wonderful doctor used his expertise and offered us a different regimine. That included some different medicines at different times. As I've progressed with things, I felt pretty much the SAME. That began to play a toll on me because I thought "this is supposed to be different"....I guess I thought I was supposed to feel different too. All of my appointments were very positive with great strides and progress in the right direction. My confidence was strengthened. The day of retrieval did feel different...I wasn't as "bogged" and the day of transfer was COMPLETELY different! It was not near as painful as the time before.

It is standard procedure at our clinic that there are only 2 embryos implanted at the time of implant. That is what happened for us. Now, as I have explained before, there were a lot more eggs fertilized but not all of those eggs have grown and developed into embryos. At the time of implant, we were told that there were a total of 5 embroys maturing at this time...that is 2 that were implanted and 3 that they were going to continue to watch to see if they developed further. We were to call down in two days to see if any of those embryos were still progressing or if they degenerated. The last time, there were 6 that they were going to watch and all of them degenerated and stopped maturing over the next few days. This time, we called and found out that there are 3 perfect embryos that they will freeze for us for future use!! WOW, what a complete blessing that is! Now, we do not take that lightly and know that those are precious lives and will prayerfully consider when the right time will be to have those implanted some day.

So for the time being, we have caught a glimmer of hope that this time MIGHT be DIFFERNT!!! Please Lord Jesus, it is only by your GRACE and MERCY that these lives within me will be sustained!

We humbly ask that you keep praying!

Transfer........check.

Today, Darcy and I traveled down to Des Moines for our transfer appointment. This is where they take the two strongest embryos and implant them into Darcy. The procedure went very well. Darcy continued to tell me throughout the day that it was so much better than last time.

We continue to feel so blessed by knowing that family and friends are praying for us. We have felt so encouraged and upheld during this time. Our prayers continue to be that God would place His hand on us and allow these embryos to continue to grow and attach to Darcy. We will travel back down to Des Moines in two weeks for our pregnancy test. The next two weeks are vital to the success of the procedure.

Please continue to pray that the embryos grow. Pray that Darcy stays healthy and stress free. Pray that we can continue to think positive thoughts and that we continue to draw closer to our Lord Jesus during this time of waiting.

We trust you Lord! May your Name be praised!

One phase down

Those of you who know me, know that I am a very "list oriented" person! Yes, I like to have things in order and I like to be able to see what needs to be done. I enjoy nothing more than crossing off something from my list. Yes, I even write things on my list that are already done...just to cross them off!! I feel a sense of "empowerment" when I've accomplished something!

Today is one of those days. We can cross off the first big phase of this whole process!!! :)

Yesterday, we were at the clinic bright and early! My appointment was at 6:45am and we were ready to go back to surgery by 7:00. I was was given some medicine to put me out, although it didn't put me completely out this time. The procedure happened and then I was recovering. We were in the car headed home by around 10:00am. So to say the least, it was a pretty quick morning.

As I was coming to, the nurse informed us that they were able to retrieve 23 eggs! She said that was great. Then the nurse called today and informed us that of the 23 there were 19 that were fertilized. The other 5 were just fluid sacks or they degenerated before fertilization occurred. As I talked with the nurse today, she informed us that we have 12 embryos that are growing right now as we speak. Now will all of those embryos survive, probably not. The way I look at it is, does every egg that is fertilized in the womb survive and turn into a pregnancy?... no. This is no different. The embryos are stored in a very climate controlled incubator and they are growing and changing every minute. Obviously, we know that the hand of God is the creator and sustainer of life. This type of situation looks different because it is taking place outside of the body, BUT in both cases, there needs to be SUSTAINMENT in order for life to occur. How many times in a woman's body does this occur and we not even know it?!? Does an egg become fertilized but never come to a full term pregnancy?!?! Probably a lot more than we will ever know. I believe that this is no different. In both cases, we believe that God is the Creator and sustainer of life.

On Tuesday, we will go down for 2 embryos to be transferred into my womb. They will also tell us how many embryos are still growing and maturing. If there are still some growing and maturing, we will freeze them to use at a later time.

Again, we can't thank you all enough for your thoughts, prayers and kind words in this time. We praise God for such loving friends and family that can surround us in this time. We humbly ask that you continue to pray for us as we still have a long road ahead of us. Pray that these embryos continue to grow and mature. Please pray for our hearts to be open and willing to do whatever it is that God desires of us. We desire to be obedient to His calling for us.

Also, continue to pray for the healing of my body. I'm still in quite a bit of discomfort and have been really trying to nurse myself back to normal.

We have learned that the power of prayer is immeasurable. To feel the prayers of many is unbelievable and to know the surpassing PEACE that the good Lord provides is indescribable.

Things are progressing

I can't even begin to describe the past few weeks. It has been a complete whirlwind. I have had 4 appointments over the past 6 days. Over the course of those appointments, I have been monitored very closely. I have had an ultrasound and blood drawn at each and every appointment. The nurses administered an ultrasound each time to watch the activity in my ovaries. There are follicles (eggs) that are growing in each ovary and the shots that I have been giving makes those follicles grow even larger and more mature. With each dr appointment, they measure the growth of the follicles. These measurements have shown adequate growth and enough growth to keep me "right on track". This was encouraging news to hear every day that I was there.

According to my ultrasound and bloodwork yesterday, we are on track to have our egg retrieval on Thursday morning. This is when they will go in the ovaries and extract every single follicle that grew over the course of the past few weeks. It is undetermined at this time how many that will be and we won't know until tomorrow after the procedure. Tomorrow morning, we need to be at the clinic at 6:45am...yikes..when we live over an hour away...that will be an early morning.

Please pray for us tomorrow. Please pray that my body would respond to all of the meds tomorrow to make the procedure go smoothly. Please pray that the doctors would have wisdom in our situation. Pray that my body would react decently to all of the 'trauma'. I have been feeling very good. I have had no real issues with any of the medicine thus far and my body hasn't felt too abnormal. This is such an answer to prayer.

Trusting in God's unfailing love and wisdom in this time.

Stepping out on faith, again...

Does this ever become...easy?!? Stepping out on 'Faith'. Stepping into something that you are fearful of, stepping somewhere that is not visible...stepping somewhere and feeling very out of control. How can this be easy? How can this ever be a joyous time when everything inside of me wants to run in the other direction because of the unknown? I want to scream and demand a view of what is come. I want to see everything that is about to happen BEFORE I take this step of faith again.

Unfortunately, I know that life does not work that way.
In Hebrews 11:1 it states
Now FAITH is being SURE of what we hope for and CERTAIN of what we do not see.

What am I sure of? What am I certain of?
I am sure of the fact that God is holding us in this time. I am sure of the fact that we are perfectly inside His Perfect WILL right now. I am certain that nothing can separate us from the love of God. I am certain that he cares about us deeply. I am sure that there will be a day when I will stand in the presence of the Lord and fall at His feet. I am certain that this life here on earth is not ALL about me and my desires but more about God using me to bring Glory and Honor to HIM! I am certain that God is All Knowing and All powerful. I am certain that He holds the future.

So as I reflect on all of that, I do have FAITH. I can step out into this scary unknown with confidence. I sit here today with a heart that is full of peace, confidence, and hope. Thank you all for praying for us. We humbly ask that you continue to pray for us in this time. We know that prayer is a powerful tool and that God hears the cry of his people. We start the first round of shots on Monday. I have a little different regimen this time that includes not as many shots as before....so that is good! We are not near as fearful of the shots as we were the first time through. I feel very at ease about everything and know that our hearts are set to be obedient in this time. I will have to make frequent visits (6 in 2 weeks)to the doctor's office that is over an hour away from my house. Please pray for travel mercies, as well.

A verse that I take comfort in..
Hebrews 4:16
Let us then approach the throne of GRACE with confidence , so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.

The step of faith this time is done with great confidence!
Thank you all for your love and kindness.