"The sin of Comparison"

This is something that I struggle with often..is comparing myself to other people. You ever find yourself saying things like "I want what they have" or "Why can't I be more like that person" or "I want to look like that person" or "why does it have to be so difficult for me...but so easy for them?". This is something that we all struggle with from time to time, Im sure. But does this ever go away? Do we ever reach a point in our life where this all goes away? I'm going to guess, probably not.

Over the last couple of weeks I have battled those thoughts and feelings. I believe that God Himself allows things to happen in our lives for a greater purpose than we realize. I believe that satan wants nothing more than to distract us from Christ. Comparing has been my distraction! I just want everything to be easy. I just want things to be normal. I want to be like "everyone else". After I humble myself and realize that God is working out His perfect and pleasing will for my life, I realize that He desires us to live a life surrendered to HIM and HIS will!

Not my will but THY will be done

Two weeks ago, I failed the three hour glucose test and now carry the label of gestational diabetic. After about a day of bawling and wondering..seriously..why does everything have to be so difficult for me? Why can't I just be "normal"?. Why do I have to have all these issues? I just want to be like everybody else...you know..normal!

Pete has been such a great support through it all. He has accompanied me to my appointments, asked questions on my behalf and just been an extra pair of ears. I was quite emotional about it all and needed that support more than I knew. The routine that I have been taught is altering my diet to eat more protien and less carbs and then checking my blood sugars four times a day. The nurse practioner asked me if I would be ok with pricking my finger four times a day and I told her "I have given over 350 shots in my butt and belly over the past year..I think I will be ok with a finger prick!". It was all very overwhelming at first and I just wanted it to go away. Pete has reminded me on several occasions that this is managable and it could be a whole lot worse. These are all things I know and believe but when emotions are running high, it is hard for that to sink in.

Now after a week of checking my blood, I can honestly say it isn't that bad. Trying to manage my day around eating and monitoring has been the hardest part. The doctor wants the reading to be less than 120 and nearly every single one of my readings have been below 100. That is a small victory I need to celebrate.

So for now, does it do me any bit of good to compare myself to other people? No. Where does that get me but deeper in a state of frustration. So, instead, I reflect on things I need to focus in on like the GREAT things that God is doing in and around me everyday. This is just another hoop and I will chose to jump through it with a joyful spirit. Thank you Lord for filling my heart with your PEACE and JOY.