A couple of FIRSTS

SWIMMING:

My sister and her two kids decided to spend the night in a hotel that had a waterpark. So on the second day that they were there my mom, Cael and I decided to join them. I wasn't quite sure how Cael would do. I loved the idea that it was free for us to try and I didn't have to worry about sunscreen and a sunburn. He did really good! I was really impressed. I thought for sure he was going to scream and cry (because that is something he enjoys doing it seems) but he didn't!! As you can see from the progression of picture his cousin Mallory was trying to help him not be so scared. Oh the look on his face was priceless. He was taking it all in. The colors, the sounds, the feeling of the water..he was intrigued by it all. What a great time we had in the water!!! Thanks Aunt Lisa for inviting us to swim!







A WEDDING:Doesn't he look handsome! Oh my I just can't help but kiss that sweet face. I know Im biased, but you have to admit he is a little irresistable.


We were invited to a family members wedding. At first I swallowed hard and thought of all the things that needed to take place that day for him to sit in a wedding. We planned that day and tried to get everything just right for him to cooperate and sure enough he decides to sleep for an hour that day and threw off all of our plans. We just had to go with the flow I guess. We were reminded once again that this little guy has a mind of his own and I guess we are just along for the ride.

Disconnect to Reconnect

I know I have eluded to the fact that I have a lot of "think time" during the day. Sometimes this can be a great thing and other times I kind of turn into my worst enemy. There are some days where it gets to be about mid morning and I ask myself, have I said anything out loud today? I have thousands upon thousands of thoughts that run wild in my mind throughout the day and I can't recall which ones are spoken and which ones are just mere thoughts. Sometimes when I finally do talk to Pete at the end of the day I feel like I kind of talk in circles because those thousands of thoughts come spewing out in no particular order. This is when I am so thankful for a forgiving, gracious husband that loves me no matter what! ;) He knows my ways and has grown to love me even if I ramble. Actually I think I am rambling right now. So get to the point, D, will ya!?!

So getting to the title of this post.

Disconnect to Reconnect


This is a reoccuring thought that I have had over the past five months. The past five months have been overwhelming, emotional, thrilling, stressful, gripping, and did I mention emotional. There have been a few days, I wont lie, where I have just cried because I feel so inadequate and helpless. I am the type of person where I will make myself sick trying to figure things out. I did this with my job and I did this with our infertility journey. I want to FIX IT. I want to FIGURE IT out. When in the silence God reminds me HE can fix it. HE can help figure it out. While I'm beating my head against the wall, God is whispering in my ear. It isn't until I'm silent that I hear his assurance.
When Cael was about 3 months old and we were in the thick of being overwhelmed I remember being encouraged by Pete to take a day to myself. So I called my mom (Thank you Lord for grandmas)to see if she could come over for a visit and I just left the house. I went shopping for a few hours. On the way home from that shopping trip I remember reflecting. I remember thinking, "I don't think I kissed Cael good bye when I left". I felt so terrible that I walked out of the house so quickly that I didn't, until that moment, realize that I forgot to kiss my baby good bye. Then I started thinking about how much I love him and how special he is to us. I began to get teary eyed as I drove down the road. I thought about how blessed we are to have a little baby boy who is healthy and growing every day. How truly blessed we are to be able to hold this miracle in our arms each day. As I continued to reflect on this sweet love of mine, I began to weep. (I know call me a cry baby..but I will blame it on hormones ;) God has truly blessed us and I just can't wrap my mind around what he has done in our hearts, forever. As I pulled in the driveway I felt this leap in my heart that I was going to get to kiss my little boy soon. I walked in the door, held him close to me and began to smell his sweet baby smell. I felt a deep connection with my sweet little boy that afternoon.

That day I DISCONNECTED from my life here at home for a while. Just a few short hours I went away. I had a change in scenery and I was able to do something for myself. My hands were free and my mind could think about other things for awhile. When I walked in the door that afternoon I was able to RECONNECT with my life here at home. One word...Refreshing.

Analogy: We were having troubles with our internet connecting to our WiFi a few weeks ago. So we decided to disconnect it for a while and then reconnect it..sure enough it worked! Wow, even technology needs a break! :)

This concept is something I feel like I will need my whole life. I think that this will be important for our children to disconnect for a while as well. There is amazing growth that happens within our mind and hearts when we take the time to disconnect then REconnect with one another. I really can't describe that sweet connection I felt with Cael when I came home that day. It was DEEPER..much deeper..and it felt good.

5 Months Old

Cael has been one busy little bee these days!
He loves...
~the sounds of his daddy's voice
~to look and listen to books
~chewing on anything he can get his little hands on
~when we let him kick around with just his diaper on
~to be upright looking around at what is going on around him
~enjoys hearing all kinds of different noises and acts very curious
~loves to take only CAT NAPS (this is maybe not mommy's favorite thing in the whole world but I guess it works for him.)
~enjoys kicking and sleeping in his crib (been successfully sleeping there for about 2 months...yah..success)
~loves to watch the kitties. He is mostly fascinated with their tails!

It seems like around his "month" birthday, we begin to take note of all of the new things he has been learning. This is what he has been up to over the past few weeks. We are excited to see what Month 5 has in store!!

We have started trying green beans and sweet potatoes. So far so good!
Happy St. Patty's day! (a few days late) :)


Rolling over! Yep he got in this position all by himself! It literally happened over night! One sunday afternoon he rolled from his back to his belly but pushed off of me for help. We knew it was only a matter of time before he would do it on his own. Sure enough on the following Tuesday, I walked out of the room and turned around and saw him roll!!! It was so exciting! :)


Last sunday we decided to take our first walk with Cael in his stroller. Most Sundays, these days, have been filled with lots of church activities. However this past Sunday when we got home from church we did not have one obligation the rest of the day. We almost didn't know what to do with ourselves. It was cloudy but very humid so we decided to take him to a bike path in town and go for a walk as a family. It was so refreshing to be out walking and getting fresh air. Oh how I long for warmer temps and being outside!


As we headed back to our car it started to spit rain. It was really mild so we weren't too bothered by it all and Cael loved it! He was making squeals and noises the whole time we were walking in it! We had to take a family picture of our first adventure!

New Tricks--4 Months

SOUNDS!!! This has been kind of the Monkey See, Monkey Do experience! We do this often to him and he finally caught on!

WALKER!! We knew that Cael had such strong legs. He didn't sit very well in a bumbo seat, that we borrowed because he wants to stand! So we decided to put those strong little legs to work in the walker! In a month or so he is going to be driving that thing like a bumper car all over the house, I just know it!

BITING!!! There has been lots of gnawing on things! I believe this is the first signs of cutting teeth! I don't feel any teeth poking through just yet but he is definitely showing signs that it will be soon!


CEREAL!!! We started cereal around his 4 month birthday. He has done so well adapting to the spoon. We hope to try some tasty baby food soon!


ROLLING!! I think that this whole rolling to one side thing happened over night!! One day he was laying on the floor while I was in the kitchen and when I came into the room he was doing this!! Then he proceeded to do this every time he would lay on his back. He is SOO close to rolling all by himself. You can tell he is really trying hard to figure it all out!


You have to take family pictures any way you can get them, right!? We love our little family.

Exactly One Year Ago...

I rolled over and had to use the bathroom at around 5:00am. It was one of those times when I didn't really want to roll out of bed. I had lots of emotions rolling through my head. All kinds of "What ifs" were just running rampant in my head! Today was the day we were scheduled to be at the clinic for a blood test. We have been anticipating this moment for so long. Was this 3rd time going to be different? How would we react if it was the same negative result we have heard before? Where do we go from here? But wait..what if it is positive? What if this time IS different? What if this is for real?

For some reason this time around I decided to take a pregnancy test before we went to get the blood test results. So early that morning when I was using the restroom I decided to use a pregnancy test. However after I "took care of business", I went back to bed. I was just about sick and in some ways I didn't WANT to know what the results were. I felt safe and secure with the unknown at that moment. I knew that the results on that test were going to change everything!! Of course my pessimistic heart was thinking through how I would handle the negative results that waited for me in the bathroom. Pete heard me get up that morning and come back to bed. Neither one of us fell back to sleep. We both just laid there in silence. After about 2 hours, he said "Are you going to go look at it?" Um...no...I mean..yes...I mean..no...um. So after a little bit of mustering up strength and taking lots of deep breaths I walked into the bathroom and found this...

I seriously couldn't believe my eyes. I said NOTHING! I was speechless. I carried it back to bed and handed it to Pete. No words were spoken but lots of tears were shed. Really?!?! Is this for real? Is this happening? This is not a dream right?

So we got ready that morning with very little words spoken. We both were in a state of shock and disbelief. We still wanted to hear the doctor tell us that the blood test of was positive before we proceed with this great feeling. So we went to my appointment that was 10:00am that morning. Then we decided to drive and sit in a Lowe's parking lot to wait for the doctor to call. We knew we didn't want to be driving down the interstate when the phone rang from the doctor (because we did that before and it was really bad.) So this time we decided to just sit and wait...and WAIT...and WAIT...and WAIT some more. We ended up sitting there for 3 long hours!! Finally at a little bit after 1pm my phone rang. My heart sank. A deep breath proceeded by a very long S I G H!! The news we have waited to hear from so long. The news that we have never EVER heard!

Exactly one year ago today...our lives changed..in a matter of minutes...FOREVER!
Thank you LORD JESUS for this MIRACLE!

4 Months

Our little boy is somehow growing by the minute! I am still amazed at how that all happens right before my eyes and I don't see it happening!
We had his 4 month check up.
He weighed 17lbs 9oz (which is 4lbs more than 2 months ago)
He is 26 1/4 inches long (he grew 2 whole inches)
His head circumference is 18 inches (that is in the 99th percentile) :)








We have been starting to experiment with feeding with a spoon. I have only tried a few times and he seems to really enjoy it. He caught on to the concept pretty quickly, I thought. He is still taking some medicine for his acid reflux. He takes it through a syringe so he has had some practice with swallowing. I believe this has prepared him for this "new step". :)
One of things he has been up to lately has been rolling over! I can't say he does it on a regular basis but he has rolled from his belly to his back several times! That was so exciting to see!! Now whenever we put him on his belly, he is tucking his legs up under him like he wants to start to crawl!
He loves to look at his feet and his fingers. He is discovering that those little extremities belong and are controlled by him! I love it!
I do have to say I have a NEEDY little boy on my hands. I think more so than "typical". Most days, he just wimpers like a little puppy until someone comes to talk to him, play with him or pick him up! I let him "whimper" for a while but after a while, it grates on my nerves so I usually end up carrying him around the house! Since I bought his stroller last week, I have started pushing him around the house in the stroller while I get things done.
Overall, Cael is growing! He is healthy and for the most part happy!
I would say... We are blessed beyond measure!

I love my life..

I love my life...I really do!

Being home alone, with Cael all day every day, I have thoughts run wild through my head. Although most of my day is spent trying to get this little boy to sleep in his crib for longer than 30 minutes. For some reason, he is going through a little bit of a phase where he doesn't want to nap in his crib. It might be because he isn't sleeping there at night yet. He has a bassinet that he has been sleeping in at night that is in our room. His bedroom is on the second floor of our house and with him still sort of waking in the middle of the night I didn't want to mess with the stairs. I do have to say though he sleeps through the night nearly every single night, so I can't complain too much. I just can't figure out how to get his naps to happen and to get them to last longer than 30 minutes 6 times a day. :/ This makes for a pretty long day most days because if you figure he is awake for 12 hours in a day, sleeps for roughly 3 hours during the day periodically, about 2 hours or so of rocking to sleep..that makes for um..yeah..not a whole of time to do much else...but TO THINK!

I love my job. I love how I get to love on my little boy every day. I get to see him discover new things (like his fingers and his toes,right now) and see his little brain at work. We are able to snuggle each morning and enjoy a quiet start to most days. Finally, I love how I don't have to answer to anyone, but my fogiving husband.

I feel like God allowed me the oppurtunity to have a career FIRST and then have my hearts desire of being a stay at home mom. Having a career for nine years really allowed me to experience so many things. My career pushed me out of my comfort zone often. It also taught me how ferverent prayer, pays off. I think I also was shown that "the grass is not always greener on the other side". I guess I needed to learn that before I took the plunge of staying home with Cael. I have never really been one to NEED a career. I know some women have that strong desire and are equipped to be in the working world, I am not one of those women. I was able to experience the working world first so that when I was given this beautiful oppurtunity of raising Cael, I would appreciate it that much more. My time in the working world has molded me to be the mother that Cael needs right now. I find myself asking
was my career demanding..absolutely... but so is motherhood.
Was my career frustrating..absolutely.. but so is motherhood.

Was my career rewarding..absolutely..and SO IS MOTHERHOOD!!! :0)


Isn't it wonderful how God's timing is perfect and how every moment of every day he is working out his perfect will.